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Elyssa Nalani

10 Things Couples Should Do Before Having Children

marriage

15 Oct

My husband and I have been on the same page when it comes to children from the very beginning – we really enjoy being around children. But as our relationship got serious, and after we got engaged, we decided that becoming parents wasn’t something we were going to pursue right away. We’re currently in a season of life where we are investing in other areas of our lives before adding children – our marriage, our individual pursuits goals and various future plans.

All of this got me thinking about what should couples really consider doing before they have little ones of their own. Most of these are taken from our current personal priorities with a few others that don’t apply to us but could be important for others. If you’re not parents yet but plan to be in years to come, consider these 10 things you should do before having children.

1. Pay off debt

This is high priority for us right now. You may not be able to knock out all your school loans but at least get a handle on any consumer debt you have. Children are expensive and you want to be able to give them as much as you can. Don’t start parenthood under the weight of consumer debt now matter how major or minor.

2. Date. Date. Date. 

Parents should still date, of course, but it gets to be more difficult and often not as frequent when they’re young. While you’re still a party of two, take advantage of the freedom and date as much as you can.

3. Finish your education

If you still have educational pursuits, go ahead and tackle them now. This doesn’t mean you can’t go back to school later on, but your opportunities and flexibilities won’t ever be the same. While your nest is empty, make sure that you seriously consider whatever education you need now to meet the career goals you have.

4. Have a conversation about jobs and money

Is she going to stay at home or work an 8-5? Does he have steady work with a reliable paycheck? What does your savings account look like? What happens if there is a financial emergency? If he is the only bread winner, what happens if something happens and he can’t work for a time or indefinitely? Money and jobs can both be so fickle and uncertain and you have to be ahead of the ball game and cover as many bases as you have control over.  And even when you have it all figured out, know that anything can change at any time and be prepared to respond to change as a team.

5. Travel 

Don’t worry, you’ll make amazing memories traveling with your future kiddos one day but it will never be the same as when it’s just the two of you. Do as much traveling as you can before you add to the party.

6. Make a home

You not only want the baby to have a safe, homey environment, you also need to make sure it’s ready for both parents to do get all the things done. Make sure you have plans about what renting or owning might look like in 5 to 10 years. Plans change, of course, but you have to start somewhere so that you know what you’re working towards in years to come.

7. Read a couple of parenting books

Ask your friends what they wished they had known before they had kids. Get book recommendations and do a little homework. You’re not trying for a Ph.D., but a little Parenting 101 doesn’t hurt either.

8. Have a conversation about discipline

And education. And electronics. And chores. And allowance. And bedtime. And food. And clothes. You may think you know your spouse but have you ever had a conversation about spankings vs. timeouts? What is considered spoiling to you? Homeschooling, private, or public? How about getting paid for chores or what time they should stop eating in the evening? Name brands or thrift store clothing for your toddler? Children don’t come with user guides but you also have an opportunity to build a united front as parents on the things you can anticipate.

9. Make sure you and your spouse have a good foundation. 

You don’t want to add children into a troubled or tumultuous relationship. Make sure that you and your spouse are on the same page and that your relationship is healthy and solid. You might check in with trusted friends or family who can speak truth to you or see a counselor for a marital check up. Healthy marriages produce healthy children.

10. Pray

Last and most important, pray for your future children and for yourselves as parents. Ask God to give you wisdom and love to parent the children He will be entrusting to you. Ask Him to bless you in the coming seasons and to equip you to teach them to become faithful followers of Christ. Pray long and pray hard cause this will be one of the greatest missions of your life!


Life, marriage, and parenting aren’t perfect. My husband and I don’t know what parenting may or may not look like in the future but for now, we’re doing our best to make wise decisions in our “party of two” season.

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Hi, my name is Elyssa!
I’m a Jesus-loving planner girl and I inspire paper-loving women of faith to live well and stay focused on what matters.

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elyssanalani

ElyssaNalani.com
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The snow and ice melted just in time for us to go The snow and ice melted just in time for us to go out and celebrate with an early dinner and a walk downtown in the sunshine. Man, you’d never know we just went through the snowpocalypse last week 😜
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#happyanniversary #anniversaryweekend #date #gorgeousweather #ilovehim
Happy Anniversary to my darling husband. Four year Happy Anniversary to my darling husband. Four years down, Baby, forever to go 🥰

📷 @davidcheneyphotography 
.
#happyanniversary #fouryearstrong #soinlove #stilltheone #marriedlife #ilovemyman
This doesn’t happen every year so we popped out This doesn’t happen every year so we popped out for an obligatory selfie in the snowfall ❄️ Cue the cheesy hashtags!
.
#babyitscoldoutside #marshmallowworld #ilovethewinterweather #winterweather #ivegotmylovetokeepmewarm #valentines #ilovemyman #happyvalentinesday
I could write a sweet, pithy caption about how muc I could write a sweet, pithy caption about how much this man means to me and how I love our relationship. But I’m too distracted enjoying the day. So I’ll leave this 6 year old photo here, wish you a lovely Valentine’s Day and get back to my breakfast in bed ☺️
.
#happyvalentinesday
• Early Valentines flowers from hubs. • Paper • Early Valentines flowers from hubs.
• Paper hearts on the kitchen walls.
• Tomorrow I will break my 40 day sugar fast, eat chocolate, and bake a pie.
❤️ February has been a challenge so far but God is good and life is full of simple pleasures.
>> Now I’m going to bed where I should have been 2 hours ago 😜 
.
#happyalmostvalentinesday #simplethings #flowers #paperhearts
@anniefdowns new book ‘That Sounds Fun’ just c @anniefdowns new book ‘That Sounds Fun’ just came out two days ago and I totally recommend it! I listened to the audiobook last year (which she reads, which makes it even more fun!) and it was such a pleasure and treat. If you’re looking for something equally delightful and grounding, this is it. We need this book in these strange times 😊
.
#thatsoundsfun #thatsoundsfunbook #anniefdowns #bookstagram #booklover #book #booknerd #bookshelves #bookrecommendations
I bought a few of the books that flew off the shel I bought a few of the books that flew off the shelves last year but haven’t read any of them yet. It’s still important work and this is as good a month as any to dig in. 

(I should mention that last year I did listen to -
• I’m Still Here by Austin Channing Brown
• Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson
• Black Klansman by Ron Stallworth)

Are you reading anything for Black History Month?
.
#blackhistorymonth #history #bookstagram #booklover #unreadshelfproject2021 #unreadshelf #bookstack #caste #bookofthemonth #botm #february2021 #februaryreads
February Scripture Writing Plan is live in the blo February Scripture Writing Plan is live in the blog! Shout out to @lady_alba26 for putting together another great collection of verses for us to focus on this month!
.
Link in bio 😊
.
#scripture #scripturewriting #scripturewritingplan #february #february2021 #journaling #club119writers
Texas can’t decide what winter weather is but I’ve still got winter vibes in the house. And plenty of tea for this season! The French Lemon Ginger and Moonlight Glow are my top 2 choices in my January @sipsby box. 
What have you been drinking this month?

My January box included - 

• Midnight Glow from @purekure_skincare
• French Lemon Ginger from @tealyratea
• Organic Rooibos Tea from @cederbosrooibostea 
• Sugar Cookie from @pinkyuptea 
.
Check out the link in my bio to get started with your own SipsBy subscription 😊
.
#sipsbybox #tea #teatime #winterweather
Oh, it’s National Spouse Day? I’m here for it! Oh, it’s National Spouse Day? I’m here for it! 
Here’s my spouse. He’s the bestest 🥰 
#nationalspouseday #ilovehimsomuch #marriedlife
Another peak at my 2021 journaling project because Another peak at my 2021 journaling project because @abiding_kelseyleigh said it’s Share the Love Sunday so here’s my personal development spread! 
I can’t stop looking at it and flipping through the rest of my pages ☺️ Video coming soon!
.
#myabidingjournal2021 #doyourthing #staycurious #creativelifehappylife #creativitymatters #journalingcommunity #creativitytakescourage #personaldevelopment #sharethelove #creativejournal #creativejournaling #projectplaybook #livewellstayfocused
January journaling spread 📔 . Memory keeping is January journaling spread 📔
.
Memory keeping is not something I’m naturally good at (for one thing, I don’t take enough photos) but I still reeeeally like creative journaling and I have a whole ton of supplies I need to use. Soooooooo I thought I’d try a different approach. Still formulating the concept but it’s looking like creative journaling + project planning + goal tracking.
.
One thing I know for certain about myself when it comes to projects: I follow through better when I can see it. Why not have a fun space to plan and visualize my projects and goals? 
I’ve been having fun with several spreads and I can’t wait to do a video and share with y’all. I think this is an approach my brain can wrap itself around 😜🧠 Stay tuned! 
.
#creativejournaling #2021journaling #2021journal #makeithappen #cultivatewhatmatters #januaryspread #january #lwsfplaybook #livewellstayfocused #adreamisawishyourheartmakes #beyoubravely #takeyourtime #creativitytakescourage #trystuffout #myabidingjournal
Walked with no one and talked with no one⁠ And I Walked with no one and talked with no one⁠
And I had nothing but shadows⁠
Then one morning you passed⁠
And I brightened at last⁠
Now I greet the day and complete the day⁠
With the sun in my heart⁠
All my worry blew away⁠
When you taught me how to say⁠
⁠
Grab your coat and get your hat⁠
Leave your worry on the doorstep⁠
Just direct your feet⁠
To the sunny side of the street⁠
Can't you hear a pitter-pat?⁠
And that happy tune is your step⁠
Life can be so sweet⁠
On the sunny side of the street⁠
⁠
I used to walk in the shade⁠
With those blues on parade⁠
But I'm not afraid⁠
This Rover crossed over⁠
⁠
If I never have a cent⁠
I'd be rich as Rockefeller⁠
Gold dust at my feet⁠
On the sunny side of the street⁠
Grab your street⁠
⁠
Dorothy Fields / Jimmy McHugh⁠
⁠
#justforfun #wednesdaylyrics #sunnysideofthestreet #staypositive #dorothyfields #songlyrics #lifecanbesosweet #spreadlove #spreadjoy
Y’all know Just Because flowers from my husband Y’all know Just Because flowers from my husband are my favorite 😍. They also force me to straighten out my desk for their presence 😆
.
#justbecause #flowers #ilovemyman #marriage #marriagerocks
#mondayverse #startright #fearlessheart #mondayverse #startright #fearlessheart
Whenever I feel afraid⁠ I hold my head erect⁠ Whenever I feel afraid⁠
I hold my head erect⁠
And whistle a happy tune⁠
So no one will suspect I'm afraid⁠
⁠
I strike a careless pose⁠
And whistle a happy tune⁠
And no one ever knows I'm afraid⁠
⁠
The result of this deception⁠
Is very strange to tell⁠
For when I fool the people⁠
I fear I fool myself as well⁠
⁠
I whistle a happy tune⁠
And every single time⁠
The happiness in the tune⁠
Convinces me that I'm not afraid⁠
⁠
Make believe you're brave⁠
And the trick will take you far⁠
You may be as brave⁠
As you make believe you areYou may be as brave⁠
As you make believe you are⁠
⁠
Oscar Hammerstein II / Richard Rodgers⁠
⁠
#justforfun #wednesdaylyrics #showtunes #rodgersandhammerstein #thekingandi
#mondayverse #startright #haveconfidence #mondayverse #startright #haveconfidence
FEARLESS HEART printable sticker kit coming to Pat FEARLESS HEART printable sticker kit coming to Patreon this weekend! Stay tuned 😊
.
#januaryscripturewriting #club119writers #scripturewriting 
#journaling #journal #stickers #journalingcommunity #scripture #journalingstickers #fearlessheart #patreon
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Goodreads

elyssanalani

ElyssaNalani.com
New month in my Stalogy 💚 . #b6stalogy #journal New month in my Stalogy 💚
.
#b6stalogy #journaling #marchjournal #beyoubravely #workhardstayhumble #planner #plannercommunity #plannerbabe #plannernerd #stickers #stickerspread
TODAY ON THE CHANNEL & BLOG! And if you’re inte TODAY ON THE CHANNEL & BLOG!

And if you’re interested in working with me on your 2021 goals, see how you can schedule a free Zoom call with me ☺️ 
.
Link in my bio
.
#goalsetting #staymotivated #motivation #goals #2021goals #cultivatewhatmatters #stayfocused #yourdreamsmatter #dontgiveup #plannerbabe #plannercommunity #planner #plannersgonnaplan #plannersofinstagram #plannergirl #plannerlove #plannerd
The snow and ice melted just in time for us to go The snow and ice melted just in time for us to go out and celebrate with an early dinner and a walk downtown in the sunshine. Man, you’d never know we just went through the snowpocalypse last week 😜
.
#happyanniversary #anniversaryweekend #date #gorgeousweather #ilovehim
Happy Anniversary to my darling husband. Four year Happy Anniversary to my darling husband. Four years down, Baby, forever to go 🥰

📷 @davidcheneyphotography 
.
#happyanniversary #fouryearstrong #soinlove #stilltheone #marriedlife #ilovemyman
This doesn’t happen every year so we popped out This doesn’t happen every year so we popped out for an obligatory selfie in the snowfall ❄️ Cue the cheesy hashtags!
.
#babyitscoldoutside #marshmallowworld #ilovethewinterweather #winterweather #ivegotmylovetokeepmewarm #valentines #ilovemyman #happyvalentinesday
I could write a sweet, pithy caption about how muc I could write a sweet, pithy caption about how much this man means to me and how I love our relationship. But I’m too distracted enjoying the day. So I’ll leave this 6 year old photo here, wish you a lovely Valentine’s Day and get back to my breakfast in bed ☺️
.
#happyvalentinesday
• Early Valentines flowers from hubs. • Paper • Early Valentines flowers from hubs.
• Paper hearts on the kitchen walls.
• Tomorrow I will break my 40 day sugar fast, eat chocolate, and bake a pie.
❤️ February has been a challenge so far but God is good and life is full of simple pleasures.
>> Now I’m going to bed where I should have been 2 hours ago 😜 
.
#happyalmostvalentinesday #simplethings #flowers #paperhearts
@anniefdowns new book ‘That Sounds Fun’ just c @anniefdowns new book ‘That Sounds Fun’ just came out two days ago and I totally recommend it! I listened to the audiobook last year (which she reads, which makes it even more fun!) and it was such a pleasure and treat. If you’re looking for something equally delightful and grounding, this is it. We need this book in these strange times 😊
.
#thatsoundsfun #thatsoundsfunbook #anniefdowns #bookstagram #booklover #book #booknerd #bookshelves #bookrecommendations
I bought a few of the books that flew off the shel I bought a few of the books that flew off the shelves last year but haven’t read any of them yet. It’s still important work and this is as good a month as any to dig in. 

(I should mention that last year I did listen to -
• I’m Still Here by Austin Channing Brown
• Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson
• Black Klansman by Ron Stallworth)

Are you reading anything for Black History Month?
.
#blackhistorymonth #history #bookstagram #booklover #unreadshelfproject2021 #unreadshelf #bookstack #caste #bookofthemonth #botm #february2021 #februaryreads
February Scripture Writing Plan is live in the blo February Scripture Writing Plan is live in the blog! Shout out to @lady_alba26 for putting together another great collection of verses for us to focus on this month!
.
Link in bio 😊
.
#scripture #scripturewriting #scripturewritingplan #february #february2021 #journaling #club119writers
Texas can’t decide what winter weather is but I’ve still got winter vibes in the house. And plenty of tea for this season! The French Lemon Ginger and Moonlight Glow are my top 2 choices in my January @sipsby box. 
What have you been drinking this month?

My January box included - 

• Midnight Glow from @purekure_skincare
• French Lemon Ginger from @tealyratea
• Organic Rooibos Tea from @cederbosrooibostea 
• Sugar Cookie from @pinkyuptea 
.
Check out the link in my bio to get started with your own SipsBy subscription 😊
.
#sipsbybox #tea #teatime #winterweather
Oh, it’s National Spouse Day? I’m here for it! Oh, it’s National Spouse Day? I’m here for it! 
Here’s my spouse. He’s the bestest 🥰 
#nationalspouseday #ilovehimsomuch #marriedlife
Another peak at my 2021 journaling project because Another peak at my 2021 journaling project because @abiding_kelseyleigh said it’s Share the Love Sunday so here’s my personal development spread! 
I can’t stop looking at it and flipping through the rest of my pages ☺️ Video coming soon!
.
#myabidingjournal2021 #doyourthing #staycurious #creativelifehappylife #creativitymatters #journalingcommunity #creativitytakescourage #personaldevelopment #sharethelove #creativejournal #creativejournaling #projectplaybook #livewellstayfocused
January journaling spread 📔 . Memory keeping is January journaling spread 📔
.
Memory keeping is not something I’m naturally good at (for one thing, I don’t take enough photos) but I still reeeeally like creative journaling and I have a whole ton of supplies I need to use. Soooooooo I thought I’d try a different approach. Still formulating the concept but it’s looking like creative journaling + project planning + goal tracking.
.
One thing I know for certain about myself when it comes to projects: I follow through better when I can see it. Why not have a fun space to plan and visualize my projects and goals? 
I’ve been having fun with several spreads and I can’t wait to do a video and share with y’all. I think this is an approach my brain can wrap itself around 😜🧠 Stay tuned! 
.
#creativejournaling #2021journaling #2021journal #makeithappen #cultivatewhatmatters #januaryspread #january #lwsfplaybook #livewellstayfocused #adreamisawishyourheartmakes #beyoubravely #takeyourtime #creativitytakescourage #trystuffout #myabidingjournal
Walked with no one and talked with no one⁠ And I Walked with no one and talked with no one⁠
And I had nothing but shadows⁠
Then one morning you passed⁠
And I brightened at last⁠
Now I greet the day and complete the day⁠
With the sun in my heart⁠
All my worry blew away⁠
When you taught me how to say⁠
⁠
Grab your coat and get your hat⁠
Leave your worry on the doorstep⁠
Just direct your feet⁠
To the sunny side of the street⁠
Can't you hear a pitter-pat?⁠
And that happy tune is your step⁠
Life can be so sweet⁠
On the sunny side of the street⁠
⁠
I used to walk in the shade⁠
With those blues on parade⁠
But I'm not afraid⁠
This Rover crossed over⁠
⁠
If I never have a cent⁠
I'd be rich as Rockefeller⁠
Gold dust at my feet⁠
On the sunny side of the street⁠
Grab your street⁠
⁠
Dorothy Fields / Jimmy McHugh⁠
⁠
#justforfun #wednesdaylyrics #sunnysideofthestreet #staypositive #dorothyfields #songlyrics #lifecanbesosweet #spreadlove #spreadjoy
Y’all know Just Because flowers from my husband Y’all know Just Because flowers from my husband are my favorite 😍. They also force me to straighten out my desk for their presence 😆
.
#justbecause #flowers #ilovemyman #marriage #marriagerocks
#mondayverse #startright #fearlessheart #mondayverse #startright #fearlessheart
Whenever I feel afraid⁠ I hold my head erect⁠ Whenever I feel afraid⁠
I hold my head erect⁠
And whistle a happy tune⁠
So no one will suspect I'm afraid⁠
⁠
I strike a careless pose⁠
And whistle a happy tune⁠
And no one ever knows I'm afraid⁠
⁠
The result of this deception⁠
Is very strange to tell⁠
For when I fool the people⁠
I fear I fool myself as well⁠
⁠
I whistle a happy tune⁠
And every single time⁠
The happiness in the tune⁠
Convinces me that I'm not afraid⁠
⁠
Make believe you're brave⁠
And the trick will take you far⁠
You may be as brave⁠
As you make believe you areYou may be as brave⁠
As you make believe you are⁠
⁠
Oscar Hammerstein II / Richard Rodgers⁠
⁠
#justforfun #wednesdaylyrics #showtunes #rodgersandhammerstein #thekingandi
#mondayverse #startright #haveconfidence #mondayverse #startright #haveconfidence
FEARLESS HEART printable sticker kit coming to Pat FEARLESS HEART printable sticker kit coming to Patreon this weekend! Stay tuned 😊
.
#januaryscripturewriting #club119writers #scripturewriting 
#journaling #journal #stickers #journalingcommunity #scripture #journalingstickers #fearlessheart #patreon
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