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Elyssa Nalani

The Difference Between Housekeeping and Homemaking

home· LIFE

16 May

I’m coming up on month 3 of marriage and stay-at-home-wifing. I knew that marriage was going to be a challenge and being a stay-at-home wife wasn’t going to be a walk in the park, but I must say,

BEING A STAY AT HOME WIFE IS HARD!!!

Oh my goodness. Like so many other things in life, you really don’t know until you get there. I knew intellectually how challenging it could be to stay on task, juggle schedules, make sure that order and not chaos rules in my home, etc. But I had no clue about what all that meant emotionally. Even though I’m still a newbie in this realm, I can say that there is definitely a difference between Homemaking and Housekeeping. 

  • Housekeeping is about picking up, wiping down, straightening out. It’s scrubbing toilets, sweeping floors, and running the vacuum again. Homemaking is all that PLUS the understanding that a clean house isn’t just about neat and tidy. It’s about about making a space that is a little piece of heaven on earth. A place where God is welcome and the angels want to stay.
  • Housekeeping is washing, drying, and folding laundry, ironing and putting away clothes, making beds and changing towels. Homemaking is all that PLUS the patience it takes to look at the hamper filling up with dirty laundry again when you just ran 8 loads yesterday. It’s remembering that your family deserves clean clothes and linens. 
  • Housekeeping is buying groceries and remembering to buy toilet paper and dish soap. It’s unloading bags from the car and stocking shelves. It’s cooking meals. It’s planning ahead so your husband’s lunch cooler is packed and ready to go in the morning. Homemaking is all that PLUS remembering that taking care of your family’s well being is your responsibility and they deserve the best of your abilities and knowledge. They also deserve your creativity and learning new things. 
  • Housekeeping is keeping track of work schedules, cleaning schedules, meal plans, project schedules, meetings, and due dates. Homemaking is all that PLUS the knowledge that you serve a God of order and chaos isn’t His will for us. Perfect coordination and communication isn’t possible in this unpredictable life but proactivity and intentionality shows that you care about your home and the lives that live there. 
  • Housekeeping is making sure you’re staying within your weekly/monthly budget. It’s making sure that you know what’s coming in and what’s going out. It’s keeping records for tax season and remembering where your bank account information is. It’s staying on top of bills and making sure everything is paid on time. Homemaking is all that PLUS remembering that money is a gift from God and He expects us to handle it well. It’s about being generous and wise. It’s about not letting debt become a function of your lifestyle. It’s about knowing what your weaknesses are and being honest about them. It’s not splurging recklessly on yourself because your money isn’t just yours anymore. It’s about emergency funds and savings accounts. It’s about self-control, moderation, consideration, and conversation. 

Homemaking is about creating an environment where your family, big or small, can come and escape from the craziness of the outside world. It’s about cultivating honesty, conversation, love, and safety. It’s about learning lessons of patience, self-discipline, stewardship, creativity, industry, and grace. Oh and did I mention patience? It’s about solving problems, facing challenges, taking responsibility, talking things through, saying sorry, and trying again when you’ve failed.

In all honesty, most housekeeping isn’t all that hard for me. I’ve been cooking and cleaning since I was young. Homemaking is hard. It takes an extra dose of self-discipline. Sometimes it’s thankless. And sometimes it gets up under your skin when you feel like you deserve better. 

Homemaking is seriously a ministry.

Unlike any other acts of ministry I’ve been involved in, homemaking is like holding a mirror up everyday and coming face to face with all of my weaknesses, flaws, sharp edges, and weariness. But like any other act of ministry, it’s not about me. Homemaking is not about me. It’s not about me having a spic and span house 24/7. It’s not about making gourmet meals for my husband. It’s not about checking off items on my planner. It’s about letting God serve through me. Just like when I teach a class at church or lead song service or help someone in need, homemaking is giving what God gave me day after day after day after day. And just as Jesus served tirelessly, I’m expected to serve just as faithfully in the realm I serve – in this case, my home. And of everything I’ve ever been called to do, I think homemaking is the most challenging. Because it’s a daily surrender that is different from any other that has compelled me. Never have tests of character been so tied to the mundane chores and tasks of my life. Never has the sanity of someone else (my husband) been so dependent on my self-discipline. Never has the making or breaking of scheduling, planning, and getting things done rested on my ability to be my own boss and focus.

I used to say that working 40 hours and being a full time student at the same time was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and while that was certainly intense, this is a whole other ball game. I’m using different emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical muscles here. Muscles that I barely knew existed.

I hate hearing “oh you just stay at home”. There is no “just” about it. Making a home whether you work outside it or not is a major responsibility. But it’s also an extreme privilege. As women, we’ve been wired to nurture, create, plan, cultivate, and manage in a way men were not. It’s what God said men needed. And homemaking is where so much of our femininity gets exercised, shaped, and refined. That doesn’t mean men don’t get involved or possess an important place in their homes, cause they should and do! But the essence of woman in her realm is something lovely and unique. And when a home has been entrusted to our care, we should feel greatly blessed and challenged.

I write this for the days I can’t wash another dish or want to put off scrubbing the tub. I write this for the days I don’t want to meal plan, or sweep the floor. I write this for when I’m frustrated, weary, or overwhelmed. Cause all of that happens. I write this for when I just want to binge-watch Netflix or curl up with a book instead of going over last weeks expenditures.

I write this cause like anything else worth doing in this life, it’s not easy and it’s not a perfect process. I write this cause the struggle is real and I think, good grief, get it together woman before you think of adding kiddos to the mix! I write it cause I’ve got a hard-working husband who made it a priority to give me the chance to stay at home like I wanted and he deserves my best.

I write because I have so much to learn about so much! I write this because there are days when housekeeping is the best I can do and the thought of homemaking makes me tired.

I write it cause maybe you need it too.

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Hi, my name is Elyssa!
I’m a Jesus-loving planner girl and I inspire paper-loving women of faith to live well and stay focused on what matters.

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elyssanalani

ElyssaNalani.com
Give me all the fresh greenery and all the candles Give me all the fresh greenery and all the candles. That’s all.
.
#cantstoplooking #freshflorals #candles #springgreenery #spring
The HOW TO STUDY YOUR BIBLE MASTERCLASS is launchi The HOW TO STUDY YOUR BIBLE MASTERCLASS is launching in May!!! Stay tuned for more details in the next couple weeks 😄
.
(This isn’t the final look but I couldn’t wait to share ☺️)
.
#howtostudyyourbible #biblestudy #howtostudyyourbiblemasterclass #studyyourbible #readyourbible #club119writers
I’m so looking forward to reading this book! Hap I’m so looking forward to reading this book! Happy launch day @gretchensaffles 🎉 Thank you for the gift of these words 😊
.
#wellwateredwomen #thewellwateredwomanbook #rooted #growing #flourishing #booklover #book #booknerd #bookrelease #readersofinstagram #idratherbereading
I have a confession to make: I haven’t been pray I have a confession to make: I haven’t been praying much lately. 

I mean, like, I’ve prayed, but I’ve haven’t been spending the kind of time in prayer that I 1). know I should and 2). desperately need. And in seasons like this (which are embarrassingly often) I totally see the impact it makes in my life. It’s detrimental to say the least. And I have the nerve to wonder why I sometimes can’t get a grip 🙄🤦🏾‍♀️

I am, of course, reticent to put this into words but the honest to goodness truth is that I have a serious pride issue. I go about my life thinking that I’ve got it figured out or at least that I’m figuring it out even though I know that most days I’m barely treading water. I wouldn’t label it pride but isn’t that what keeps us off our knees? Isn’t that what keeps us from bringing  our hearts before the Father? Isn’t that what keeps us from allowing Him to examine all the spaces we’d rather keep under wraps? What else could it be?

So as I’m planning and refreshing my 2021 goals for the second quarter, I’m making prayer a top tier priority. Because it really doesn’t matter how well I use my planning system or set up my goals or even how often I read my Bible or keep a journal. If I am not intentionally staying connected to God through prayer, all my efforts to “do all the things” don’t matter. Prayer is the linchpin. Prayer is the way that I humble myself and place God at the center of my life. Prayer is the way that I check my pride and remind myself that I am not in control. Prayer is the way that I set myself up to be selfless and generous rather than self-centered and self-serving. 

What about you? What’s a top tier priority for you next quarter?
.
#prayer #prayerchangesthings #dontforgettopray #april #secondquartergoals #plannercommunity #planner #plannerbabe #journal #prayerjournal #vmpprayerjournal #valmariepaper #goals #2021goals #priorities #prioritiesfirst #growthbook #powersheets #hopewriters #fullfocusplanner #plannerlife #cultivatewhatmatters #bible #csb
You know you’re a nerd when you flip through you You know you’re a nerd when you flip through your new Bible Dictionary in bed 😆🤓
.
#booknerd #biblenerd #bibledictionary #youknowyoureanerdwhen #biblestudy
About last night ☺️ Had a fabulous dinner with About last night ☺️
Had a fabulous dinner with @pamiebee & @lady_alba26 and then got to finish off the evening with baby snuggles 🥰
.
#ladiesnight #friendship #somuchfun #auntielyssa
New month in my Stalogy 💚 . #b6stalogy #journal New month in my Stalogy 💚
.
#b6stalogy #journaling #marchjournal #beyoubravely #workhardstayhumble #planner #plannercommunity #plannerbabe #plannernerd #stickers #stickerspread
TODAY ON THE CHANNEL & BLOG! And if you’re inte TODAY ON THE CHANNEL & BLOG!

And if you’re interested in working with me on your 2021 goals, see how you can schedule a free Zoom call with me ☺️ 
.
Link in my bio
.
#goalsetting #staymotivated #motivation #goals #2021goals #cultivatewhatmatters #stayfocused #yourdreamsmatter #dontgiveup #plannerbabe #plannercommunity #planner #plannersgonnaplan #plannersofinstagram #plannergirl #plannerlove #plannerd
The snow and ice melted just in time for us to go The snow and ice melted just in time for us to go out and celebrate with an early dinner and a walk downtown in the sunshine. Man, you’d never know we just went through the snowpocalypse last week 😜
.
#happyanniversary #anniversaryweekend #date #gorgeousweather #ilovehim
Happy Anniversary to my darling husband. Four year Happy Anniversary to my darling husband. Four years down, Baby, forever to go 🥰

📷 @davidcheneyphotography 
.
#happyanniversary #fouryearstrong #soinlove #stilltheone #marriedlife #ilovemyman
This doesn’t happen every year so we popped out This doesn’t happen every year so we popped out for an obligatory selfie in the snowfall ❄️ Cue the cheesy hashtags!
.
#babyitscoldoutside #marshmallowworld #ilovethewinterweather #winterweather #ivegotmylovetokeepmewarm #valentines #ilovemyman #happyvalentinesday
I could write a sweet, pithy caption about how muc I could write a sweet, pithy caption about how much this man means to me and how I love our relationship. But I’m too distracted enjoying the day. So I’ll leave this 6 year old photo here, wish you a lovely Valentine’s Day and get back to my breakfast in bed ☺️
.
#happyvalentinesday
• Early Valentines flowers from hubs. • Paper • Early Valentines flowers from hubs.
• Paper hearts on the kitchen walls.
• Tomorrow I will break my 40 day sugar fast, eat chocolate, and bake a pie.
❤️ February has been a challenge so far but God is good and life is full of simple pleasures.
>> Now I’m going to bed where I should have been 2 hours ago 😜 
.
#happyalmostvalentinesday #simplethings #flowers #paperhearts
@anniefdowns new book ‘That Sounds Fun’ just c @anniefdowns new book ‘That Sounds Fun’ just came out two days ago and I totally recommend it! I listened to the audiobook last year (which she reads, which makes it even more fun!) and it was such a pleasure and treat. If you’re looking for something equally delightful and grounding, this is it. We need this book in these strange times 😊
.
#thatsoundsfun #thatsoundsfunbook #anniefdowns #bookstagram #booklover #book #booknerd #bookshelves #bookrecommendations
I bought a few of the books that flew off the shel I bought a few of the books that flew off the shelves last year but haven’t read any of them yet. It’s still important work and this is as good a month as any to dig in. 

(I should mention that last year I did listen to -
• I’m Still Here by Austin Channing Brown
• Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson
• Black Klansman by Ron Stallworth)

Are you reading anything for Black History Month?
.
#blackhistorymonth #history #bookstagram #booklover #unreadshelfproject2021 #unreadshelf #bookstack #caste #bookofthemonth #botm #february2021 #februaryreads
February Scripture Writing Plan is live in the blo February Scripture Writing Plan is live in the blog! Shout out to @lady_alba26 for putting together another great collection of verses for us to focus on this month!
.
Link in bio 😊
.
#scripture #scripturewriting #scripturewritingplan #february #february2021 #journaling #club119writers
Texas can’t decide what winter weather is but I’ve still got winter vibes in the house. And plenty of tea for this season! The French Lemon Ginger and Moonlight Glow are my top 2 choices in my January @sipsby box. 
What have you been drinking this month?

My January box included - 

• Midnight Glow from @purekure_skincare
• French Lemon Ginger from @tealyratea
• Organic Rooibos Tea from @cederbosrooibostea 
• Sugar Cookie from @pinkyuptea 
.
Check out the link in my bio to get started with your own SipsBy subscription 😊
.
#sipsbybox #tea #teatime #winterweather
Oh, it’s National Spouse Day? I’m here for it! Oh, it’s National Spouse Day? I’m here for it! 
Here’s my spouse. He’s the bestest 🥰 
#nationalspouseday #ilovehimsomuch #marriedlife
Another peak at my 2021 journaling project because Another peak at my 2021 journaling project because @abiding_kelseyleigh said it’s Share the Love Sunday so here’s my personal development spread! 
I can’t stop looking at it and flipping through the rest of my pages ☺️ Video coming soon!
.
#myabidingjournal2021 #doyourthing #staycurious #creativelifehappylife #creativitymatters #journalingcommunity #creativitytakescourage #personaldevelopment #sharethelove #creativejournal #creativejournaling #projectplaybook #livewellstayfocused
January journaling spread 📔 . Memory keeping is January journaling spread 📔
.
Memory keeping is not something I’m naturally good at (for one thing, I don’t take enough photos) but I still reeeeally like creative journaling and I have a whole ton of supplies I need to use. Soooooooo I thought I’d try a different approach. Still formulating the concept but it’s looking like creative journaling + project planning + goal tracking.
.
One thing I know for certain about myself when it comes to projects: I follow through better when I can see it. Why not have a fun space to plan and visualize my projects and goals? 
I’ve been having fun with several spreads and I can’t wait to do a video and share with y’all. I think this is an approach my brain can wrap itself around 😜🧠 Stay tuned! 
.
#creativejournaling #2021journaling #2021journal #makeithappen #cultivatewhatmatters #januaryspread #january #lwsfplaybook #livewellstayfocused #adreamisawishyourheartmakes #beyoubravely #takeyourtime #creativitytakescourage #trystuffout #myabidingjournal
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Goodreads

elyssanalani

ElyssaNalani.com
Give me all the fresh greenery and all the candles Give me all the fresh greenery and all the candles. That’s all.
.
#cantstoplooking #freshflorals #candles #springgreenery #spring
The HOW TO STUDY YOUR BIBLE MASTERCLASS is launchi The HOW TO STUDY YOUR BIBLE MASTERCLASS is launching in May!!! Stay tuned for more details in the next couple weeks 😄
.
(This isn’t the final look but I couldn’t wait to share ☺️)
.
#howtostudyyourbible #biblestudy #howtostudyyourbiblemasterclass #studyyourbible #readyourbible #club119writers
I’m so looking forward to reading this book! Hap I’m so looking forward to reading this book! Happy launch day @gretchensaffles 🎉 Thank you for the gift of these words 😊
.
#wellwateredwomen #thewellwateredwomanbook #rooted #growing #flourishing #booklover #book #booknerd #bookrelease #readersofinstagram #idratherbereading
I have a confession to make: I haven’t been pray I have a confession to make: I haven’t been praying much lately. 

I mean, like, I’ve prayed, but I’ve haven’t been spending the kind of time in prayer that I 1). know I should and 2). desperately need. And in seasons like this (which are embarrassingly often) I totally see the impact it makes in my life. It’s detrimental to say the least. And I have the nerve to wonder why I sometimes can’t get a grip 🙄🤦🏾‍♀️

I am, of course, reticent to put this into words but the honest to goodness truth is that I have a serious pride issue. I go about my life thinking that I’ve got it figured out or at least that I’m figuring it out even though I know that most days I’m barely treading water. I wouldn’t label it pride but isn’t that what keeps us off our knees? Isn’t that what keeps us from bringing  our hearts before the Father? Isn’t that what keeps us from allowing Him to examine all the spaces we’d rather keep under wraps? What else could it be?

So as I’m planning and refreshing my 2021 goals for the second quarter, I’m making prayer a top tier priority. Because it really doesn’t matter how well I use my planning system or set up my goals or even how often I read my Bible or keep a journal. If I am not intentionally staying connected to God through prayer, all my efforts to “do all the things” don’t matter. Prayer is the linchpin. Prayer is the way that I humble myself and place God at the center of my life. Prayer is the way that I check my pride and remind myself that I am not in control. Prayer is the way that I set myself up to be selfless and generous rather than self-centered and self-serving. 

What about you? What’s a top tier priority for you next quarter?
.
#prayer #prayerchangesthings #dontforgettopray #april #secondquartergoals #plannercommunity #planner #plannerbabe #journal #prayerjournal #vmpprayerjournal #valmariepaper #goals #2021goals #priorities #prioritiesfirst #growthbook #powersheets #hopewriters #fullfocusplanner #plannerlife #cultivatewhatmatters #bible #csb
You know you’re a nerd when you flip through you You know you’re a nerd when you flip through your new Bible Dictionary in bed 😆🤓
.
#booknerd #biblenerd #bibledictionary #youknowyoureanerdwhen #biblestudy
About last night ☺️ Had a fabulous dinner with About last night ☺️
Had a fabulous dinner with @pamiebee & @lady_alba26 and then got to finish off the evening with baby snuggles 🥰
.
#ladiesnight #friendship #somuchfun #auntielyssa
New month in my Stalogy 💚 . #b6stalogy #journal New month in my Stalogy 💚
.
#b6stalogy #journaling #marchjournal #beyoubravely #workhardstayhumble #planner #plannercommunity #plannerbabe #plannernerd #stickers #stickerspread
TODAY ON THE CHANNEL & BLOG! And if you’re inte TODAY ON THE CHANNEL & BLOG!

And if you’re interested in working with me on your 2021 goals, see how you can schedule a free Zoom call with me ☺️ 
.
Link in my bio
.
#goalsetting #staymotivated #motivation #goals #2021goals #cultivatewhatmatters #stayfocused #yourdreamsmatter #dontgiveup #plannerbabe #plannercommunity #planner #plannersgonnaplan #plannersofinstagram #plannergirl #plannerlove #plannerd
The snow and ice melted just in time for us to go The snow and ice melted just in time for us to go out and celebrate with an early dinner and a walk downtown in the sunshine. Man, you’d never know we just went through the snowpocalypse last week 😜
.
#happyanniversary #anniversaryweekend #date #gorgeousweather #ilovehim
Happy Anniversary to my darling husband. Four year Happy Anniversary to my darling husband. Four years down, Baby, forever to go 🥰

📷 @davidcheneyphotography 
.
#happyanniversary #fouryearstrong #soinlove #stilltheone #marriedlife #ilovemyman
This doesn’t happen every year so we popped out This doesn’t happen every year so we popped out for an obligatory selfie in the snowfall ❄️ Cue the cheesy hashtags!
.
#babyitscoldoutside #marshmallowworld #ilovethewinterweather #winterweather #ivegotmylovetokeepmewarm #valentines #ilovemyman #happyvalentinesday
I could write a sweet, pithy caption about how muc I could write a sweet, pithy caption about how much this man means to me and how I love our relationship. But I’m too distracted enjoying the day. So I’ll leave this 6 year old photo here, wish you a lovely Valentine’s Day and get back to my breakfast in bed ☺️
.
#happyvalentinesday
• Early Valentines flowers from hubs. • Paper • Early Valentines flowers from hubs.
• Paper hearts on the kitchen walls.
• Tomorrow I will break my 40 day sugar fast, eat chocolate, and bake a pie.
❤️ February has been a challenge so far but God is good and life is full of simple pleasures.
>> Now I’m going to bed where I should have been 2 hours ago 😜 
.
#happyalmostvalentinesday #simplethings #flowers #paperhearts
@anniefdowns new book ‘That Sounds Fun’ just c @anniefdowns new book ‘That Sounds Fun’ just came out two days ago and I totally recommend it! I listened to the audiobook last year (which she reads, which makes it even more fun!) and it was such a pleasure and treat. If you’re looking for something equally delightful and grounding, this is it. We need this book in these strange times 😊
.
#thatsoundsfun #thatsoundsfunbook #anniefdowns #bookstagram #booklover #book #booknerd #bookshelves #bookrecommendations
I bought a few of the books that flew off the shel I bought a few of the books that flew off the shelves last year but haven’t read any of them yet. It’s still important work and this is as good a month as any to dig in. 

(I should mention that last year I did listen to -
• I’m Still Here by Austin Channing Brown
• Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson
• Black Klansman by Ron Stallworth)

Are you reading anything for Black History Month?
.
#blackhistorymonth #history #bookstagram #booklover #unreadshelfproject2021 #unreadshelf #bookstack #caste #bookofthemonth #botm #february2021 #februaryreads
February Scripture Writing Plan is live in the blo February Scripture Writing Plan is live in the blog! Shout out to @lady_alba26 for putting together another great collection of verses for us to focus on this month!
.
Link in bio 😊
.
#scripture #scripturewriting #scripturewritingplan #february #february2021 #journaling #club119writers
Texas can’t decide what winter weather is but I’ve still got winter vibes in the house. And plenty of tea for this season! The French Lemon Ginger and Moonlight Glow are my top 2 choices in my January @sipsby box. 
What have you been drinking this month?

My January box included - 

• Midnight Glow from @purekure_skincare
• French Lemon Ginger from @tealyratea
• Organic Rooibos Tea from @cederbosrooibostea 
• Sugar Cookie from @pinkyuptea 
.
Check out the link in my bio to get started with your own SipsBy subscription 😊
.
#sipsbybox #tea #teatime #winterweather
Oh, it’s National Spouse Day? I’m here for it! Oh, it’s National Spouse Day? I’m here for it! 
Here’s my spouse. He’s the bestest 🥰 
#nationalspouseday #ilovehimsomuch #marriedlife
Another peak at my 2021 journaling project because Another peak at my 2021 journaling project because @abiding_kelseyleigh said it’s Share the Love Sunday so here’s my personal development spread! 
I can’t stop looking at it and flipping through the rest of my pages ☺️ Video coming soon!
.
#myabidingjournal2021 #doyourthing #staycurious #creativelifehappylife #creativitymatters #journalingcommunity #creativitytakescourage #personaldevelopment #sharethelove #creativejournal #creativejournaling #projectplaybook #livewellstayfocused
January journaling spread 📔 . Memory keeping is January journaling spread 📔
.
Memory keeping is not something I’m naturally good at (for one thing, I don’t take enough photos) but I still reeeeally like creative journaling and I have a whole ton of supplies I need to use. Soooooooo I thought I’d try a different approach. Still formulating the concept but it’s looking like creative journaling + project planning + goal tracking.
.
One thing I know for certain about myself when it comes to projects: I follow through better when I can see it. Why not have a fun space to plan and visualize my projects and goals? 
I’ve been having fun with several spreads and I can’t wait to do a video and share with y’all. I think this is an approach my brain can wrap itself around 😜🧠 Stay tuned! 
.
#creativejournaling #2021journaling #2021journal #makeithappen #cultivatewhatmatters #januaryspread #january #lwsfplaybook #livewellstayfocused #adreamisawishyourheartmakes #beyoubravely #takeyourtime #creativitytakescourage #trystuffout #myabidingjournal
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