It’s been a rough several weeks in my head and in my heart. My husband and I are doing well but we’ve been in a season where things are falling apart around us and we’re having to cope.
It’s what happens when you get involved in people’s lives simply by being family and friends. Stuff happens and even though it doesn’t happen to you, you feel the ripple effect and you have figure out how to cope and talk and feel and still keep your own little slice of heaven balanced and sane.
In the meantime, in my own life, God has had me in a season of waiting for some things over here and needing to make decisions over there. All the while, I’m trying to figure out where I belong in all of it. My weary head and heart are just trying to keep up and keep on top and not wish for better but be content in the now.
Yesterday, I finally had a moment of clarity. I had just cleaned out my entire inbox for one of my email addresses and 2/3 of another email address (I know, I have multiple email accounts), unsubscribed from mailing lists I no longer cared for, and straightened out some other website accounts. It felt like I’d cleaned out a messy hall closet. I felt so light and de-cluttered. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for SO long and finally made some time to tackle it.
Anyway, post email clean up and I realized that while life around me happens and I can’t control it, I can control my own chaos. Simple things like my email inbox, how much Netflix I consume as opposed to classical music or just silence, dirty dishes in my sink, clean laundry that needs to be put away, the stuff that’s been waiting to be put in the shed or the messages I should’ve sent 3 weeks ago! All of this stuff I can control and if I would just get it together, I’d have a bit more head space to deal with the stuff I have no control over. I can’t make decisions for other people but I can make them for myself. Yesterday, I decided that while I can’t ignore the stressors, I can’t let them control me.
I’ve made this decision before. It’s a moment by moment thing. You have to keep deciding.
This week hasn’t been all that I needed it to be nor have I been and done all that was needed but even in the chaos, God speaks. He reminds me that I don’t have to control everything. I don’t have to understand everything I’m feeling right now. I don’t have to react to every stimulus. I just have to do the best with what is in front of me and trust Him with the rest.
Week in Review
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I’ve Been Reading
I’D RATHER BE READING – I finished this the other day and oh my goodness, it was so lovely! It is the perfect collection of essays for the book lover!
READING PEOPLE – I listen to Anne’s Podcast, What Should I Read Next, and I read her blog but after reading I’d Rather Be Reading, I’m getting into the rhythm of her long form voice, if that makes sense. I’m really enjoying it so far in this book!
I Thought This Was Funny
I totally cracked up at this because this was basically the story of my single life. I’ve been given props for living this no-drama, pure, single life but it wasn’t like they were lining up for my phone number either!
I’m Looking Forward To
Cooler weather! It’s slowly creeping down. I no longer melt in a puddle the moment I step outside but it’s still uncomfortably warm for my taste. I can’t wait to wear long sleeves!!
How was your week?